MythNinjas!
by MrBright01
Summary: Two wandering strangers arrive at Konohagakure, claiming to be "engineers." This story will explore the odd ideas and technologies of the Naruto setting in a humor-driven manner, through the eyes of two scientifically-minded wanderers. Low action, and almost certainly not canon compliant by the end of it.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The following story is a crossover between Naruto and Mythbusters, but it is important to note that this is not about Adam Savage, Jamie Hyneman, or any other member or former member of their show. While the characters and themes in this story are directly inspired by them and their work, it does not claim to represent the views, opinions, morality, beliefs, or any other aspect of these very real (and in my mind, outstanding) people. This is a work of fiction, and all characters depicted are entirely fictional.**

 **This also means that they will not inherently adhere to those same namesakes in terms of appearance or personality. Nor will they be subjected to what I will politely term "the dark side of fanfiction." This is about science, adventure, and most importantly, fun. Please note that the story is filed under humor. It will not be serious. At all. Some of this will reach science fiction levels of silly**

 **I will also be a little looser with my research into the minutiae of the Naruto world. This is entirely for my own amusement, and combing through a wiki trying to make sure I avoid crushing canon in for my other story.**

* * *

The immediate aftermath of the Kyuubi Attack in Konohagakure was a time of great unrest, suffering, and sadness. The actual damage to the village itself was minimal, but the price in lives was horrific. Heroes died during the battle, and none was mourned more than the fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato.

And nobody mourned like Hatake Kakashi. After his father, then Obito… and Rin… he had hoped the scales of misery had been balanced, and that he might finally be left in peace. But now Minato-sensei was gone, sacrificed to save his village, as was Uzumaki Kushina. They weren't family… but in a way, they were.

The worst part was that Sarutobi Hiruzen had given him possibly the least engaging job in the village. It made D-Rank duty seem engrossing by comparison. Even walking dogs or digging trash out of the river was better. Or chasing that damned kitten the daimyo's wife kept losing, never mind why it always came to Konoha. The capitol was miles away!

But no, he got gate duty. His job, for at least the next week, was to slouch his way to the gate every morning at 8am. And what kind of hour was that for a respectable ninja? He should be an hour into his training routine at 8am!

Then he would be required to stand there (as Kakashi refused to use the chair set aside for him) for a mere eight hours, casually glancing at the paperwork provided by visitors while looking real close at the person handing it to him. Any enemy ninja who couldn't fake a written passport wouldn't be infiltrating them in the first place, so far better to watch for body language cues.

And then there was his temporary partner. Umino Iruka was polite to a fault, and he suffered the misconception that spending all day on guard duty required discussion amongst the guards to pass the time. Kakashi was content with the silence, but it was regularly broken by Iruka's incredible inability to shut up.

It was during the latest round of such thoughts that Iruka tapped him on the shoulder, not in some friendly manner, but in code, a quick triple tap to grab his attention. Kakashi's arm was already moving to brush him off when Iruka withdrew the hand and pointed, blessedly silent, at the road outside.

Two people were walking down the road. Both were strange even by Kakashi's generous measure, and he knew strange, it challenged him to a contest every morning.

The first figure was stocky by nature, barrel chested and muscular. He was dressed in simple robe so white it almost gleamed, marred by not a speck of dust despite the dry earth road he walked along. Upon his head he wore a strange cap, a largely flat piece of cloth that seemed to hold no purpose, and his face was hidden by a large, bushy moustache and round, dark glasses.

But what really drew Kakashi's eye was his walk. The man strode, quickly and efficiently. He needed to get somewhere, and he had to walk, so he set about that walk with as much efficiency as possible. He walked with carefully measured steps and looked like if he was left to his own devices, he would simply keep walking at the same pace until the journey stopped or he did.

Kakashi could not help but feeling a slight spark of admiration for the man just as methodical and precise as himself. But looking at the other man, Kakashi's mood soured as he was reminded of a friend long gone.

The other man was not measured, or methodical, or harsh. His pace changed with every other step, sometimes short and falling behind the pace of his companion, and sometimes longer, drawing him to the front. His arms moved irregularly as he did so, in part because of his apparent lack of control, and in part as he used them to emphasise whatever story he was telling as he walked, apparently to no effect to his listener.

This man was even more unusual in appearance. He wore dark blue pants made of some material that looked both thick and durable, and a large brown leather coat that almost touched his heels as he walked. But under that he wore a shirt that seemed oddly thin, with some sort of writing on it that Kakashi didn't recognize. He had a goatee framing his huge grin, and perched upon his head was an oddly cut hat, broad brimmed and slightly upturned to either side, as if even the hat was smiling with him. This effect was only made worse by the man's build, thin to the point of being gangly.

Kakashi and Iruka watched the two approach for some time, as they walked at a sedate civilian speed. As they drew closer, the skinny man stopped chatting at his companion and took to looking at the great gates of Konoha with what appeared to be a suitable level of awe.

They finally drew within easy speaking distance, and Kakashi stepped forward, hand out in the universal sign to halt. Both stopped walking. The skinny man started to fidget almost immediately. He kept glancing between Kakashi and Iruka, smiling cheerfully in that painful manner. But Kakashi was distracted from the pain by the stocky man.

The two of them locked eyes (well, eye, in Kakashi's case), and Kakashi immediately upgraded the man from harmless to potential threat. That man did not smile or nod or fidget. He looked at Kakashi, not as a potential friend or possible foe, but as a problem. A problem he was already thinking about solving.

Kakashi only knew one person in Konoha that had that same look in his eyes, and that man was one of the few that could command respect from him. Even the honorable Third did not have eyes so cold and precise.

After a few tense seconds, the thin man held out his hand at Kakashi, while chatting away in a strange and guttural language. His mouth stopped after a moment, then the hand dropped a moment later. "Sorry," he said after a moment, his accent strange. "Forgot where I was. Wrong language."

"Why have you come to Konohagakure?" asked Kakashi, waving away Iruka's stammering but polite request for the same information.

The stocky one spoke, his voice clear and his dictation flawless. "We come from a distant land, and have heard this… village… is well populated. We come seeking work."

"And what profession do you follow?"

The gangly one's grin intensified, approaching a level of enthusiasm to challenge Gai on even his worst day. Even the stocky one managed a small smile as they spoke together in perfect cadence.

"Science," they said.

"Specifically," said the stocky one, "I'm an engineer." At the blank look the two guards shared, he explained. "I make complex things. Buildings. Bridges. The means to turn both into rubble. Preferably with explosives."

"And I do the same thing," said the other, with a heavy and unguessable accent. "But I tend to be more focused on the theory. Math. Physics. Jokes based on the same. Although I tend to destroy things with power tools or by ramming them into other things at terminal velocity."

Kakashi made a snap decision and spoke, addressing the more reasonable looking one. "Anyone entering beyond a certain technical level must speak with the Hokage, especially outsiders. Come with me." An excuse, of course. Anyone so unusual as this pair was immediately flagged for interest in the first place. Normally, someone would shadow them for a bit, usually an ANBU on light duty. But these two were using words he associated with peaceable civilians in the manner that ninjas spoke of jutsu. They might be useful, or dangerous, or both.

He turned and started walking down the street, unsurprised to hear the sound on one set of footsteps matching his almost perfectly while another scramble to catch up.

* * *

The wait outside the Hokage's office turned out to be quite interesting.

The stocky one, who called himself Jaimi when asked, seemed nonplused. Having given his name and told to wait, he promptly sat in the nearest available chair and stopped moving. He was so still, so quiet, that Kakashi could not help but compare the man to a veteran ninja like himself. There was nothing to do but wait, so Jaimi waited.

The other one, Adamu, was anything but patient. He tried to strike up a conversation with the ninja doing the receptionist duty, and when the ninja did not react, he then tried to talk to Kakashi, who ignored him, and Jaimi, who would grunt on occasion but otherwise did not join in. For almost five minutes, he amused himself with a bit of metal wire from his pants pocket, bending it into an odd series of curves until he set it on the receptionist's desk and gave it a nudge, resulting in a complex and somewhat interesting moving sculpture. Eventually, Adamu started to wander the waiting room, stopping to examine each wall scroll, potted plant, and even the walls and ceilings.

Then he stopped and stared at the wall directly behind the waiting room chairs. "Are you guys aware someone is using a gap in the wall here to spy on people?" He pointed at a corner opposite the entry to the Hokage's office, where a potted plant ran from floor almost to the ceiling.

Kakashi straightened and looked at the man. He was staring at the wall with a degree of focus that seemed out of place for him. "What makes you say that?" Kakashi asked, smiling as if he was about to hear a joke.

"I can see a thin separation between the walls, which continues along the ceiling and floor, and the pattern on the wallpaper is just slightly off between the two sections. So I am guessing it's a secret door of some sort, and I am guessing it's used regularly, as the plant in this corner is much healthier than the others, gets a lot of carbon dioxide from the crack I am guessing. It's also the only really tall plant in here. Concealment, right?"

Kakashi did not confirm or deny the statement, but he snuck a glance at Jaimi and saw the man smirking quietly under his facial hair. He turned to look at Kakashi, and the edges of his eyes crinkled in an eye smile that the ninja knew well before glancing up at the tiled ceiling, right where the second ANBU station was.

More concerning was their reaction, or lack thereof. Neither man tensed, nor did they take on the sudden relaxation most ninja used (and overreacted with) to cover up their surprise. They both just continued on as if they had nothing to worry about.

Adamu continued to wander, pointing out all the hiding places with what appeared to be growing enthusiasm. He seemed especially excited over the drop away floor directly in front of the Hokage's door, impressed over how well concealed and balanced it was.

Jaimi, meanwhile, had come out of his silent state. He didn't move from his chair, but his eyes wandered, examining the room minutely, mumbling to himself every once in awhile when he spotted another station.

Kakashi had some doubts previously about bringing these two to the Hokage, but those doubts were now put to rest. Many ninja would notice one or two of the hidden hatches and panels, but between the two of these strange men, they had spotted every single secret that Kakashi knew of, and a couple he did not. These two were either useful or dangerous, and it was beyond his pay grade to decide how to treat them.

Almost as if a result of his thoughts, the door to the Hokage's office opened silently, almost bouncing off of Adamu's face, as he had been examining the door when it opened.

"The Hokage will see you now," said one of the supposedly concealed ninja. ANBU was usually quite good at hiding their emotions, but Kakashi was almost certain he heard irritation in the woman's voice.

* * *

"Welcome to Konohagakure. I am the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen." He waved his hand at the two chairs across his desk. Both men glanced at Kakashi, and when he made no move to sit, they remained standing as well. Hiruzen took this in stride. These would hardly be the first visitors he entertained that didn't know or didn't care about the bland politeness of high level politics, but their effort to check what their escort was doing implied a quite unusual degree of sense. "What brings you to my village?" His eyes darted momentarily to Kakashi as he spoke to the two, asking the real question with his glance. _Why are they here?_

"Upon applying for entry, they mentioned being engineers and mathematicians. They also spoke of being able to destroy bridges and buildings. I suspected you may wish to speak to them yourself, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to go on. Kakashi coughed. "They also got bored while waiting and started pinpointing all of the hidey holes in the waiting room. Even a couple I never spotted."

At this, Hiruzen's eyebrow rose, and he leaned back to fiddle with his pipe. "How is it you managed to spot those locations? Are you sensors, by any chance?"

Adamu cleared his throat and stepped forward, taking his hat off as he did and holding it in front of him. "No, ahh, Hokage… sama? We build things by trade, often complex things. As craftsmen, we tend to notice little details. At first, I thought they were just discrepancies, possibly from the local building style or patchwork or the building settling, but they were a little too straight and regular to be random. Uhh… Hokage-sama."

From where he stood, Jaimi piped up. "And once we realized the waiting room was also a screening room, it made a bit more sense as an intended security feature, so we started trying to think up how we would set such a room up to search for more options."

"Kinda surprised at the trap door in the middle," said Adamu with a grin. "Unless it's some sort of pit trap, I can't imagine any guard could get out of there fast enough to be useful."

Hiruzen tapped his pipe thoughtfully against the palm of his hand. "Tell me, do you think you could improve on the design of the waiting room, make it more secure?"

The two men exchanged a glance, and Jaimi shrugged and said, "Probably. We wouldn't know until we got in and had a look. We could probably conceal things a little better."

"I know we could probably make a lockout system, so if the guards need to keep someone out, the door to your office locks down. Depending on local laws and how dangerous your visitors can be, might be able to design some more proactive measures…" Adamu's face lit up with a huge grin, glancing at Jaimi and getting a smirk in return.

Hiruzen was no stranger to the depths of obsession, nor did he forget just how much his village benefited from people like Kakashi and Gai and the like. Shinobi were often obsessive in their own little way, and that's how they got good at their jobs.

"I think I'd like to hire you as civilian security consultants. You seem to have keen minds, and it would not hurt to have someone fresh to look over our procedures as well ." _And hopefully, you'll prove to be sensible enough to keep secrets in life so you won't keep them in death. I'll need someone to keep an eye on them, someone willing and able to act if needed, but still young enough to appear relatively harmless. And I know just the ninja for that…_

Kakashi shivered as Hiruzen looked at him, and gleam in his eye that spoke volumes. _Dammit. Babysitting duty._

* * *

 **Next chapter: Ninja can what?4**

 **A/N: A few minor changes for clarification were made from the original. Consistent use of the name spelling variation, partially because I want to distance Adamu and Jaimi from their real world counterparts.**


	2. Chapter 2

"And what changes will you be making?" asked Danzo.

Hiruzen watched with some interest as Jaimi and Adamu glanced at one another before both turned to face him. "Beg pardon, Hokage-sama," said Adamu, leaning slightly away from Danzo as he did so. "Do you want us to inform this man on the planned security changes?"

"I'm not telling this man a thing about the changes to security we are making if I have any say on the matter," said Jaimi, looking blandly at the bandaged wrapped standing next to him, silently fuming.

Hiruzen tried not to smile, but it took a great deal of his self control. "Danzo is one of my most trusted advisers."

Jaimi nodded, but his bland look did not change. "And I will tell him every change Adamu and I have made so far... if so ordered. Should you decided to do so, however, I'd have a new recommendation for the security changes."

Hiruzen ran a hand over his face. "And what changes would you suggest, should I order you to reveal your security alterations to my advisor?"

"I'd suggest you end our contract, dedicate the money you would have paid us to internal surveillance, and terminate whoever advised you give that order." Jaimi's bland face turned from Danzo, who was glaring at him in the same sort of dull manner Jaimi himself used, and raised a single eyebrow before turning back to the Hokage. "By terminate, I mean removed from their job. Of course."

Hiruzen allowed his smile to surface, now that he could claim it was from the… joke. "Of course."

Adamu stepped forward slightly, giving Danzo a smile. "No offence, of course, Danzo-san, it's jus-"

"Sama," said Danzo.

"Pardon?"

Danzo straightened, his knuckles creaking slightly as he gripped his cane. "I understand you're new to our language. You will address me as Danzo-sama."

Adamu paled slightly and glanced at the Hokage before he straightened. "Forgive me, Danzo-san, but we've been directly hired by Hokage-sama to improve security. As per our contract, we report directly to the Hokage and those he designates as our handlers. As I understand your naming conventions, I would address Hokage-sama as my direct employer and thus superior, as well as any superior he may have and any superior he designates to me, with the sama suffix. Which he has yet to do for you, Danzo-san."

Jaimi turned to face Danzo, and an amused gleam came to his eye. "If you prefer, Danzo-san, we can drop honorifics entirely. Surely we all know where we stand. Men of such minds as ours need not repeat pointless social niceties."

"Quite so," said Danzo, a distinct chill in his voice. "By your leave, Hokage-sama, I have other business to attend." He waited just long enough for Hiruzen to nod before he swept out of the room with the same measured step as always, the only hint to his anger being the slight stiffness in his good arm.

Adamu exhaled loudly once the door closed, then grinned sheepishly when everyone else in the room looked at him. "Sorry, not used to pissing off people who could arrange my death."

Jaimi coughed quietly into a fist.

"And would be willing to do so," finished Adamu, with an fond smirk as his companion.

Hiruzen sighed quietly and glanced at the paperwork in front of him. These two strangers had some odd habits, but their paperwork was a thing of dreams for any Kage. They had very elaborate diagrams, sheet after sheet of specifications and explanations, but what made them _special_ was the little sheet on the top that succinctly summarized the entire folder they'd turned in. A few minutes of reading had informed Hiruzen about what he needed to actually know, and he found the language referring to him not by his office, but by the far less impressive term "end user," to be somewhat refreshing. They wrote as if he was not the Hokage of the most powerful of the Hidden Villages, but as just another person asking for advice.

"I approve of these changes, including options one through seven. I cannot approve of options eight and up because of the degree of public access I must have for the tower, but I thank you for your thoroughness, and will keep your expertise in mind should a more… expendable… location need security."

The two strangers both grinned, and Hiruzen had to bite back a groan. Suggestion eight had suggested burying hundreds of explosive tags embedded in an iron shell under the Hokage's tower. The key part of that plan, and the one that had caught Hiruzen's eye, was doing so as part of a public ceremony and then quietly moving his office to a significantly more secure but much less obvious location than a tall tower with the village symbol plastered on it.

The other options only got more destructive from there. Hiruzen suspected that if those two hadn't taken such an instant dislike to Danzo that the man would almost certainly be trying to recruit them.

"Tenzo, please show these two how to access the current security panels," he said to his apparently empty office. "You and Kakashi will stay with them to answer any questions or otherwise assist them."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

Adamu jumped slightly and turned to see a previously unseen masked ANBU opening the door and gesturing for them to exit. "I'll never get used to that," he muttered good naturedly as he walked out the door, leaving the ANBU to stare at Jaimi, who had not yet left.

"Hokage-sama, if I might add one more thing?" asked Jaimi.

Hiruzen waved at him.

Jaimi's facial hair twitched slightly as his usual look of mild disinterest became a full frown. "I realize I am probably tell you what you already know, but… Watch that man, Hokage-sama. I would trust him no further than I could throw him, and two meters is a very short distance."

Hiruzen nodded slightly, and without another word, Jaimi walked out of the room. There was a click as the door shut, followed by a gentle whoosh of air as Kakashi stepped in from where he had been perched below the windowsill to stand before the Hokage's desk.

"Hokage-sama?"

"Yes, Kakashi?"

"If I may ask, why did you do that? I cannot imagine Danzo-sama's arrival was an accident, or your vague permission to speak of their security plans without making it an order one way or another."

Hiruzen sat back and smiled as he began to fill his pipe. "Kakashi, if I told you to run to Danzo right now and report these new security measures to him, would you?"

"Of course," said Kakashi, without missing a beat.

Hiruzen grinned. "And what would you say before you left to do so?"

Kakashi glanced at the empty room, and he almost seemed to deflate slightly. "I'd… probably confirm the order first, sir."

"To ensure you heard me correctly, because you think such an order would be a bad one."

It was not phrased as a question, and Hiruzen was treated to the rare sight of Kakashi losing a little of his composure. "I would never disobey a direct order, Hokage-sama! I just… know a lot about Danzo, just as you do, and I'd have to at least conside-" He stopped talking as Hiruzen raised his hand in a calming gesture.

"I learned a few important things from that meeting," Hiruzen said. "They both know I am the authority here. They know enough to keep quiet on security issues, even under significant pressure. They will speak up when a problem comes up, even if doing so would impact their lives negatively. And perhaps most importantly…" He gave Kakashi a smile. "They have enough sense to be wary of someone like Danzo."

* * *

Adamu stared up at the bottom of the trap door. The design was fairly effective, the mechanism well built and properly maintained. In truth, the only problem he saw was that the entire thing was at the top of a shaft that ran from the ground floor to the waiting room. There were no obvious handholds or platforms to get up there. No elevator to lift troops up. No crossbows or kunai launchers or poison gas or...

"So… what's the point in this?" he asked himself.

"What kind of question is that?" said Kakashi, making Adamu jump. The engineer shot Kakashi a dirty look and pointed up.

"That. What's the point in this whole thing? You can't go up this without a lot more effort than it's worth, it'd probably take a healthy man a full thirty seconds to get up there, so it can't be for access reasons. But the trap door above was a little too obvious for a trap, and if you're gonna make a trap door, adding spikes is not much more effort. So, how is this useful?"

Kakashi walked past Adamu and looked up the shaft before he let out a sigh of disdain and started walking up the wall of the shaft. He only stopped when he heard a thump on the floor below and turned to see Adamu staring up at him in shock.

The strange man slowly scooted back on the floor, the entire time staring at Kakashi's bemused face, before her started to shout.

"Jaimiiiiii!"

* * *

"Shinobi can climb walls," said Adamu breathlessly as he ran into the small hallway where Jaimi and Tenzo were working. Jaimi stopped tightening the brace for the crossbow he was setting up and looked at Adamu expectantly, then at Kakashi, who shrugged.

"Without using their hands or anything," Adamu added.

Jaimi turned and looked at Tenzo, who looked back blankly before putting his tools down. In a few moments, he was standing upside down in the tight maintenance tunnel with the exact same blank look.

"Is this a common ability for shinobi?" asked Jaimi, his face still expressionless. When Tenzo nodded, he sighed and walking back down the tunnel, leaving the crossbow unloaded. "We need to have a meeting with the Hokage."

* * *

In hindsight, Hiruzen felt somewhat silly.

Strangers in a strange land, wearing outlandish clothing and speaking an unknown language. Of _course_ the idea of chakra and its resulting abilities were foreign to them. Hiruzen, like most Kage, knew that there were nations and people outside the scope and control of what most considered the known world, but interactions with those distant strangers were so rare as to be legendary. The Five Great Nations left the outside world alone, and the outside world returned the favor.

"We need information, Hokage-sama," Adamu said. "Our plans were made with the assumption that nobody would be walking up walls. We need to know exactly what shinobi are capable of doing."

Hiruzen nodded. "I think we can provide some textbooks with an overview…"

* * *

The pair were back within a few hours.

"The textbook was insufficient," said Jaimi. "It gives vague statements about abilities and chakra. We need hard data."

Hiruzen glanced at Kakashi, who shrugged. "What exactly do you need?"

Adamu rubbed the back of his head. "We need… jeeze, how do I even say it… we need a sense of scale. Like, look, how do you tell a new shinobi how much chakra to use to make a fireball?"

"For the most part, their sensei will observe their efforts and inform them if they need more or less than what they are using."

Adamu and Jaimi shared a look, and Hiruzen resisted the urge to frown. He remembered that sort of look from his own sensei, whenever he said something foolish, and it was not a look he was used to seeing any more. "Okay," said Adamu "so the new shinobi can use a fireball. How do you determine the volume and temperature of that fireball in relation to the amount of chakra spent? When two shinobi use the same technique, how do you determine who used the most chakra?"

Hiruzen sat back and fiddled with his pipe. He wasn't entirely sure what they wanted for an answer. His first reply would have been "Whoever runs out first used too much," but he knew that would only draw more of the same questions.

Jaimi was looking at him, and after a moment, the man nodded. "How long is the stem of your pipe, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen glanced down at it, then back up. "Maybe six inches, give or take."

"How long is one of those regulation knives I've seen? The thin ones with no edge."

"A regulation kunai is seven point five inches from pommel to tip."

Jaimi nodded. "How much chakra is used to make a fireball five feet in diameter and producing a flame that is five hundred degrees fahrenheit?"

Hiruzen's eyes lit up. "I think I understand. You need _formal_ measurements."

Adamu and Jaimi smiled, and it was Adamu who spoke. "Exactly, Hokage-sama. We're facing an engineering problem, 'How do you shinobi-proof a trap.' If your average shinobi can produce a flame that burns at five hundred degrees, our trap needs to withstand at least five hundred and one degrees. If a shinobi can run at thirty five miles per hour, a crossbow bolt must travel at least thirty six to catch up."

"Never mind needing to know their actual abilities," added Jaimi. "We know from the textbooks that they can shoot fire and increase their speed or strength, but not everything they can do would be in a simple book. We'll need some assistance from someone with a broad grasp of shinobi abilities that we can examine and test."

Kakashi didn't even need to look at the Hokage. He just sighed and slumped. _More babysitting duty._

* * *

 **A/N: Unfortunately, I am discovering that this story lends itself to relatively short chapters. I made a few attempts at longer explanations, but they felt very forced. In the end, considering the crackish nature here, I suspect I am best off posting small content where small content makes sense.**


	3. Chapter 3

Adamu was quite a sight to behold when Kakashi showed up in the morning to assist him. The strange man was sitting at a cheap desk on a folding chair, the only two things he had asked for aside from the books and scrolls that now covered the desk to a depth of several inchest. His hair, already usually disheveled, was a horrifying mess, and his eyes were slightly red, the lines around them more apparent than normal. The man had obviously gotten no sleep, and spent the night reading instead.

Off to one side, Jaimi was laying on his bedroll, his back to the rest of the room and his hat on the floor beside breathing was even and remarkably silent, only the slightest movement of his side indicating he even lived. But the moment Kakashi shut the door behind himself, Jaimi was moving, sitting up almost mechanically and setting his hat on his head. He nodded to Kakashi and then looked at Adamu.

"Many powers increase exponentially with the chakra invested," Adamu said, thumping his head on the book open in front of him. "There is usually a minimum amount of chakra expenditure to get a technique to complete properly, and there is usually a point where more chakra becomes difficult if not impossible to control, causing the technique to fail, but there is no theoretical maximum a technique can accomplish. The limit is in your control."

Jaimi sighed, and glanced at Kakashi, who looked confused. "This is problematic," said Jaimi, as Adamu thumped his head on the book repeatedly, "because it makes engineering problematic. If a fireball of five hundred degrees is normal, you can engineer a surface to resist fires below, say, five hundred and fifty degrees. But all that means is that the attacker needs someone with the control and reserves to reach five hundred and sixty degrees."

From his position, his voice muffled by paper, Adamu said, "meaning we cannot prevent enemy action, we can only prevent a statistically significant degree of enemy action."

Kakashi shrugged. "Welcome to the Shinobi world. Never assume anything."

Jaimi nodded, apparently nonplussed. "So, without a maximum, we need a minimum. Who among your society would have the least amount of chakra, while still being capable of demonstrable effects?"

* * *

Adamu was a hit with the children in Konohagakure's Shinobi Academy.

Something about him, his cheerful demeanor maybe, or his own childlike enthusiasm, made children flock to him. Jaimi did not begrudge his companion on that, and in truth he used it as a shield, permitting him to be himself rather than trying to put the kids at ease by pretending to be like them, something that rarely worked. Children had an instinctive dislike of nonstandard adults, an excellent trait but one that made interacting with them difficult for Jaimi.

Admittedly, it was also nice to see those same kids jump into Adamu's world view and start to learn about science and the art of viewing the world with clarity. He may not have the same sort of unending joy and enthusiasm as children (and Adamu) had, but he was not beyond appreciating it.

There was, however, a couple children that caught his eye and gravitated towards him, a pair of children who wore dark sunglasses and heavy coats. Aburame Kana and Aburame Tama were stoic, taciturn, and very intelligent, traits Jaimi valued innately, as did they. While Adamu and the rest of the children chittered and chattered as was their way, Jaimi had sat on the ground next to the Aburame children and started discussing why they were visiting the school.

By the time the day was done, they were both sitting in a small lounge for the teachers, tired but hopeful.

"The kids has some odd ideas on how to measure chakra," Adamu said with a goofy grin. "But most of them revolved around individual perceptions. Chakra sensors and Hyuuga can apparently sense chakra is used, but even they cannot measure it to a degree we would find useful. Some of the others suggested that we define the minimum like the teachers do, based on a single technique like the Clone technique."

Jaimi raised an eyebrow at that name.

"It's an illusion thing," said Adamu in explanation. "It creates a chakra construct that bends light around itself, resulting in a visible but not otherwise tangible image. Apparently the fact that it has no non-visual effects is what makes it relatively easy and low-energy to use, as most shinobi techniques are tangible."

Jaimi nodded. "Matches up what I found with the Aburame children. They also suggested that we investigate chakra paper, which reacts to chakra and is used to determine what sort of element they're most aligned with once they reach the equivalent of journeymen in their profession."

"They have elemental alignments?"

Jaimi nodded.

"... Neat."

They both turned to Kakasi, who had been leaning back and watching them talk, while Iruka graded papers in the background, diligently trying not to drown in the almost unrealistic volumes of paperwork being heaped onto him as part of his application for a teaching job, not knowing that he was grading almost six months of papers that dated back as far as the second Hokage, a pile that was an almost sacred right of passage for all of the teachers in Konohagakure.

They didn't even need to ask at this point. Kakashi just walked over to Iruka and poked him in the shoulder. "Any chakra paper on you?" he asked.

Iruka glanced at the two strange men and gave them a small smile before getting up and digging through a cupboard, then returning with a few strips of paper and handing them to Kakashi. "Sorry," he said, smiling cheerfully if self consciously at the two strangers, "It's a little old, so it might not react properly, but it should be enough to demonstrate the idea."

Kakashi held one of them up in one hand and focused his chakra into it, causing the paper to wrinkle as his lightning aligned chakra had its effect, although one corner of it remained straight.

Adamu looked hopeful. "Is there a specific amount of chakra needed to do that?" he asked. Jaimi scoffed, and Adamu smiled. "I know the answer is no, but we have to ask! The only stupid question is one nobody ever asks."

"Not really sure," answered Kakashi, putting the remanding papers on the table. "We usually tell students to put as much chakra as they can into the paper, to make sure of a clear reading."

"So a student can trigger one of these?" Adamu asked.

Iruka looked up from his grading. "Technically, yes," he answered, his voice distracted. "That said, it's not usually done until after graduation, because it does take more than a negligible amount of chakra to activate it."

Jaimi picked up one of the paper slips and looked at it. "How are these made?" he asked.

* * *

As it turned out, a lot of the most basic tools of the shinobi profession were made by, well, shinobi. Specifically, shinobi not fit for regular work.

Sometimes, a shinobi would suffer a career ending injury. In theory, Konohagakure could give them an honorable discharge and wash their hands of the whole thing, which would just leave the problem of sometimes very powerful civilians with no income but access to sometimes reality warping powers and a lifetime of practice in thinking outside the box when it comes to fulfilling their objectives.

Thankfully, Konohagakure was not run by a pack of idiots, so there was a system in place to retain those who were otherwise unfit for service for support tasks, such as manufacturing basic weapons, sewing uniforms, and creating simple seals and tags.

Hanako had lost several fingers and the lower third of her right leg during a particularly bad chunin exam, and after the medical prognosis and a conversation with her sensei, she decided to join the Shinobi Support Service rather than attempting to reach combat capability with such disadvantages.

She enjoyed her work at S3, more so than her old frontline job as a genin if she was honest with herself. It was quiet and peaceful, and her excellent chakra control leant itself to creating Chakra Paper. The process was slow, and required a careful and even application of chakra to seep into the paper until the entire thing is infused into one solid sheet.

And now, she was being stared at by two absurdly unusual strangers, a young shinobi she vaguely remembered seeing around town, and a literal legend of the Konohagakure shinobi force.

"How long does it usually take to make a piece of chakra paper?" Adamu asked her.

"About ten minutes, sir," she answered, smiling proudly. Fifteen was the average, and she was wrecking the metaphorical grading curve with pride.

The two strangers nodded to her and then stepped away to start speaking rapidly. Within two minutes they started using words she couldn't begin to understand. Within five minutes, even Kakashi's eyes had glazed over. At seven minutes, the skinny one had pulled out a pad of paper and a pencil and was sketching furiously.

At ten minutes, the two men nodded to each other, and Jaimi gave her a small smile. "Are you willing to help us perform an experiment?"

* * *

Hanako looked at the… contraption that was now mounted on her desk. It was a series of gears, hooked up to a kitchen timer, with a small clip suspended on a string that dangled down to the level that her hands usually rested.

"All you need to do is what you normally do when you charge the paper. We've got this set for ten minutes, and every minute it'll move the paper slightly. Don't adjust yourself, just let it slide when it does, okay?"

She nodded and settled herself comfortably, reaching her hands up on either side of the strip of paper, only to stop when Adamu darted in and snatched the paper away from her. "Sorry," he said, in a suitably sheepish tone, "one last thing to do." He pulled a pencil out from his pocket and made a couple tiny marks on the paper before slipping it back between her waiting hands. "So we know which way is up," he said cheerfully, before stepping back.

Keeping the careful, measured flow of chakra going between her hands proved to be difficult. The machine sat there, quietly ticking, and every minute it would suddenly jerk the paper slightly further up, pulling more and more out of her grasp. She adjusted to that oddness well enough, but the intense stares coming from the two men was somewhat intimidating. They were not threatening or even intimidating. Adamu was constantly smiling, and Jaimi had the sort of blank features she would expect from a practiced shinobi. But they watched her hands, and the paper, and the machine with frightening intensity.

The moment the machine jerked the paper out of her hands, Adamu darted forward to take it into hand. "Excellent. Not too much trouble for you, I hope?"

She shook her head. The machine was slightly distracting, but ultimately had no effect on her concentration.

"Do you mind using the machine for the rest of your work day?" asked Jaimi, after glancing at Kakashi and getting a nod. "We may need more samples of the resulting paper." She nodded, and they gave her a polite nod before exiting with almost unseemly haste, the two strangers smiling at one another.

* * *

"Your teacher tells me your control is best in your class, and that you can perform the Clone jutsu," said Jaimi.

Aburame Kana nodded. "I am not sure if my control is best, but I am in the top three, and unlike the other two, I can perform that technique correctly."

Jaimi nodded and handed him a small strip of paper. "Please focus enough chakra on the paper to perform the Clone jutsu."

Kana looked at the paper, and was about to ask about the markings before Adamu plucked it out of his hand and glanced at the marks before flipping the paper over and handing it back to Kana after giving Jaimi a smirk.

Kana focused, and found two surprises. The first was that she was an earth aligned shinobi. The second was that she had a hand in the discovery of the _cha_ , the unit of measurement for chakra.


End file.
